I don’t know about you, but when I am pissed off I need to bake. Did you know that rage makes baked goods taste better? Oh sure, people will tell you that they can taste the love in your food, but guess what suckers? I was pissed as hell when I baked that and you are now consuming my delicious fury.
What prompted such fury you ask? Well gather round children and I shall share my tale of fuckery! I spent what felt like an eternity looking for a full time job. I finally get one! Hurray! I’m full time on the front desk of a small arts college. And I’m getting a lot of overtime due to events and the second shift guy not being able to come to work (disclaimer: he was genuinely ill. I have no issues covering when someone is sick.) So what that I’m not accruing any vacation time because the company policy doesn’t allow that until after your first 90 days? I’m here, I am making positive contributions, and I’m getting a paycheck. Yay!
“You’re fabulous and do amazing work, but we’re making budget cuts and can’t afford you anymore. But we’re keeping the part timer…Best of luck!”
As you can see, I needed to rage bake.
I credit my sister for the inspiration. After spending a few hours wallowing on the couch and dealing with the practicalities of being laid off (applying for unemployment, being sure I kept my medical coverage, etc) I receive this beautiful text:
So here we go. Making biscotti is a lot like making any other cookie: cream butter and sugar, add eggs, be annoyed that the eggs aren’t mixing until you remember that’s why you own rubber spatulas.
Ready to start 
Mixer doing most of the work 
Why aren’t you mixing?! 
Ugh, fine. I’ll scrape the sides of the bowl
Next you add your vanilla and get that mixed in before dropping that dang rubber spatula and screaming in frustration before remembering you have dogs and they are used to your rage bakes and are more than happy to lick up the spillage.
That good vanilla! 
AAARGH!!! 
This is Pepper. she is a good dog. 
This is Bailey. She is also a good dog.
Once that is dealt with, and you’ve cleaned the freaking rubber spatula, you add your dry ingredients a little at a time before folding in your chocolate chips.
Start adding dry 
Dry is in 
Time for chocolate 
It feels like thick cookie dough
Split the dough in half, form it into logs, be careful not to step on the dog who is standing between your feet hoping for crumbs, and bake it for about 25 minutes until the bottom is golden brown.
Formed logs 
This is Buddy. He too is a good dog. 
Baked and waiting
Once the logs are out of the oven and cooled a bit, it’s time to bust out the big knife.
Slice them, bake them, glaze them, sprinkle with salt.
Slice them 
Bake them 
Glaze them 
Sprinkle with salt 
Devour
Store in an air tight container. Keeps for 2 weeks.
Since I’m eating these while updating my resume and starting a new job search, they probably won’t make it that long.
Adapted from Tara’s Multicultural Table
Chocolate Chip Biscotti with Maple Glaze and Sea Salt
Sweet and salty biscotti
Ingredients
- Chocolate Chip Biscotti
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
- Maple Glaze
3/4 cup + 1 Tablespoon powdered sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 Tablespoon coarse sea salt
Directions
- Chocolate Chip Biscotti
- Preheat oven to 350F. Line a large baking sheet with parchment or silicone baking mat.
- In a medium bowl, whisk together baking powder, salt, and flour. Set aside.
- In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time, then mix in vanilla extract. Slowly mix in dry ingredients until just incorporated. Fold in chocolate chips.
- Divide the dough in half. Form half of the dough into a 12 inch log and place near edge of baking sheet and gently flatten to approximately 3 inches wide and 1/2 inch thick. Repeat with remaining dough.
- Bake for approximately 25 minutes or until bottom is set and golden brown. Remove from oven and let sit for 20 minutes until cool enough to touch.
- Use a serrated bread knife to cut each log on the diagonal into 3/4-1 inch thick slices. Return slices to baking sheet, cut side down. Bake for 10 minutes, flip, and bake for another 10, until crisp. Allow to cool to room temperature before glazing.
- Maple Glaze
- In a while, shallow dish whisk together powdered sugar and maple syrup to form glaze.
- Dip cooled biscotti into glaze and spread gently to cover evenly. Allow glaze to set before moving on to next step.*
- Drizzle remaining glaze over the tops of the biscotti. Sprinkle with sea salt and allow to set. Store in an airtight container for up to 2 week.s
Notes
- *Place in fridge for half hour to speed up the setting process.
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