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Allow me to describe the last few weeks:

To summarize: my bosses are morons. Who have little to no idea what they are doing. But they don’t like it if you know what you are doing because it may interfere with what they want to be doing. They don’t know what that is, but it couldn’t possibly be what you are doing. But because I got hired for my “smiling personality” (Seriously. I was flat told this.), I routinely spend my days like this:

I was really hoping that I would be there at least 6 months before I started to hate my job, but I don’t have that kind of luck. My coworkers made it bearable, but the incompetence of the bosses have run one of them off. So now there is only one other person in the office on a consistent basis that I actually like.

Did I mention that there are only 4 of us in the office?

On the other hand: my Izzy Bit is amaaaaaaaazing. I get to see her almost every day which makes up for the perpetual shit show that is my job. She is having a few (totally normal) digestive issues, so we have been working on getting more fiber into her. In that spirit, my mom asked me to make zucchini bread.

Zucchini bread, much like banana bread, is a one bowl recipe. Unlike banana bread, it requires green vegetables and a box grater.

So you start by taking these:

You then move them very quickly up and down on a box grater until they look like this:

I would like you all to know that I nearly said “rub them up and down.” And then I didn’t because it sounded dirty. And then I decided that you already saw the photo of the zucchini and I can’t really come back from that, so why not go there? You’re welcome.

Once you’re done rubbing the zucchini up and down on a box grater (you’re welcome), you dump it and a bunch of other stuff in a bowl and mix it all up.

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Then you sift some flour and other dry stuff into the bowl and mix until just combined and you don’t see any more flour.

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Prep your loaf pan with non-stick spray and parchment paper, then pour your mixture in.

Here’s where things get a little funky: the bake time is not set in stone. The only thing I can tell you is that it takes about an hour.

Why the lack of clarity? Water. Zucchini is basically all water. And no two zucchinis will ever have the exact same water content. On top of that, this recipe uses more zucchini than most so there is more water to contend with than normal.

So after it bakes for about an hour, it comes out looking like this:

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As gorgeous and glossy as it is, it’s still not ready to eat. It has to cool completely and THEN it has to be refrigerated for 12 hours.

When you finally get to cut into it, you see this:

I promise the bottom is not undercooked. As the bread settles, the moisture travels to the bottom. It is fully cooked and fully delicious. Everyone loved it. Well…almost everyone.

And now I present to you a dramatization of us feeding it to Izzy.

Grandmommy: Izzy! Look what Auntie Tacey made for you!

Izzy:

Thanks Izzy. Love you too.

Well, everyone else enjoyed it and I hope you will too!

Adapted from The Wholesome Dish